In an effort to improve communication and relations with writers who submit stories to IGMS, I have written a new rejection letter. This letter is succinct and, I think, has a certain elegance, so I wanted to share it with you.
Dear Writer,
Thank you for submitting your story for consideration at IGMS. Unfortunately it sucked like a remora on a shark. Like a vacuum cleaner. Like a 20 dollar whore. Like a black hole in a bad science fiction movie. Like a kid with a straw and a McDonald's milkshake. Like a cowboy whose best buddy just got bit by a rattlesnake. Like an actor trying out for a role as a cowboy in "Brokeback Mountain." Well, okay, maybe it didn't suck that bad, but dear Lord, it wasn't any good...
We encourage you to submit more stories in the future. Just be sure you send them to some one else.
The Editors
I have to admit I laughed pretty good over that one. There's just something about a blunt, forthright approach.
ReplyDeleteJeff P.
Going through the slush pile again, I see...
ReplyDeleteWhile that has a certain...er, ring to it, how about something more succinct? Like:
Dear Writer:
Thank you for submitting your story to IGMS.
Do not quit your day job.
Sincerely,
The Editors
I think I've gotten that rejection before.... Only it wasn't so flattering.
ReplyDeleteWell, I laughed all right, but I'm hoping you won't be sending that one to me any time soon!
ReplyDeleteJuliette (Wade)
I think I may have to submit something to IGMS just to see if I can get that rejection letter.
ReplyDeleteOk that was just too darn funny!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh!
C -
I would frame that and hang it on the wall.
ReplyDeleteIn the bathroom, of course.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThe slush pile must be worse this round eh, Ed?
ReplyDeleteI'd frame it too (just don't send it to me) ;)
Hello
ReplyDeletesome fresh links
/////////////////////////////
http://pacodelucia.org/chat/chat/images/britney-spears/index.html
http://terebigemu.se/forum/images/ringtones/index.html
http://northwestacademy.net/forum/images/cialis/index.html
=============================
britney spears
ringtones
cialis
*************************************
cialis
ringtones
britney spears
--------------------------------------------------
P.S.
this would be great, if you'll post your thoughts about that pills.. thanx
Thank you for your post;)
That about sums it up for me!
ReplyDeleteHi
ReplyDeletedownload teen sex movie [url=http://byronss.com.au/photos/images/smiles/temp/index.html] pre teen sex video [/url]
free pre teen sex movie http://byronss.com.au/photos/images/smiles/temp/index.html --> pree teen sex gallery
teen sex uncensored secret friends teen sex chat l
Do you know much about you helth??!! )
ReplyDeleteBut So should we??
Hi
fluoxetine
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
fosamax
gris
/////////////////////////////
hoodia
/////////////////////////////
imitrex
************************************************
ionamin
!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!
kenalog
lamisil
---------------------------------------------------------
levbid
levitra
/////////////////////////////
lexapro
lipitor
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
lortab
meclizine
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
meridia
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
mircette
naprosyn
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
naproxen
nasacort
/////////////////////////////
nexium
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
nizoral
!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!
ortho
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
paroxetine
`````````````````````````````
penlac
percocet
--------------------------------------------------
phendimetrazine
phentermine
---------------------------------------------------------
prevacid
prilosec
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
propecia
protopic
---------------------------------------------------------
prozac
pyrethrin
---------------------------------------------------------
ranitidine
remeron
!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!
retin
--------------------------------------------------
PS
It would be interesting, if you'll post some more info about that pills.. thx
This is my university project )) Thank you for your post;)
Hi all!
ReplyDeletegay teen sex picture young russian teen sex
brunette teen sex http://byronss.com.au/photos/images/smiles/temp/index.html --> teen sex diary
old man young teen sex teen sex tapes l
Hi all!
ReplyDeleteamateur home sex video
amateur bang gang
amateur porn
-->http://info-graf.fr/forum/Themes/default/images/icons/temp/index.html
amateur curve
amateur free movie
Do you care about you helth??!! )
ReplyDeleteSo why we don't think about this?
Here you can find lots of information about pills.
/////////////////////////////
acetaminophen
_______________
acetazolamide
--------------------------------------------------
acetylcysteine
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
acetylsalicylic
!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!
aciphex
/////////////////////////////
acyclovir
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
adipex
`````````````````````````````
aldara
_______________
alesse
allegra
`````````````````````````````
allopurinol
!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!
amitriptyline
amoxicillin
!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!!-!-!-!
antivert
ativan
--------------------------------------------------
bentyl
biaxin
bontril
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
bupropion
`````````````````````````````
buspar
_______________
buspirone
butalbital
carisoprodol
/////////////////////////////
celebrex
celexa
/////////////////////////////
cialis
_______________
PS
It would be interesting, if you'll post your thoughts about that pills.. thx
This is my university project )) Thank you for your post;)
Hi
ReplyDeletefacial teen sex [url=http://byronss.com.au/photos/images/smiles/temp/index.html] free online teen sex clip and movie [/url]
japan teen sex gallery http://byronss.com.au/photos/images/smiles/temp/index.html --> reality teen sex video
teen sex centerfolds big teen sex l
Hello
ReplyDeletefree hardcore teen sex video [url=http://byronss.com.au/photos/images/smiles/temp/index.html] bravo teen sex [/url]
british teen sex http://byronss.com.au/photos/images/smiles/temp/index.html --> teen sex in shower
tight young teen sex teen sex hardcore links l
free amateur video
ReplyDelete