In an effort to improve communication and relations with writers who submit stories to IGMS, I have written a new rejection letter. This letter is succinct and, I think, has a certain elegance, so I wanted to share it with you.
Thank you for submitting your story for consideration at IGMS. Unfortunately it sucked like a remora on a shark. Like a vacuum cleaner. Like a 20 dollar whore. Like a black hole in a bad science fiction movie. Like a kid with a straw and a McDonald's milkshake. Like a cowboy whose best buddy just got bit by a rattlesnake. Like an actor trying out for a role as a cowboy in "Brokeback Mountain." Well, okay, maybe it didn't suck that bad, but dear Lord, it wasn't any good...
We encourage you to submit more stories in the future. Just be sure you send them to some one else.